When Teens Control Nuclear Weapons

March 28th, 2013

While North Korean “Supreme Leader” Kim Jong-un is reportedly almost thirty years old, what is known about him suggests a teenager lurking inside the body of a grown man.

We all know Kim loves basketball as evidenced by his famous “diplomatic” encounters with Dennis Rodman.  He also reportedly enjoys Jet Skis, horseback riding, and seems to have a fondness for all things Disney.

While there is no direct evidence of this fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if he also spends countless hours playing video games.  At least that’s how it appears given his recent reckless behavior as the leader of a nation with nuclear weapons and a strong military apparatus with an arsenal pointed directly at Seoul, South Korea.

As every parent of a teenager knows, military video games allow players to engage in what would otherwise be pretty suicidal behavior in real life.  The good news for the teen gamer is that while a daring mission into enemy territory probably gets the gamer “killed,” hitting the restart button will simply resurrect the player to fight another day.

Obviously, that strategy doesn’t work so well in real life.  Unfortunately, that’s exactly the “strategy” Kim seems to be currently employing.

In recent weeks, he’s directly threatened the United States and South Korea with nuclear annihilation, announced the end of the armistice which has kept the peace between the North and South for decades, and cut off the military hotline operating between the two countries.

Originally, the United States had reason to believe that all his bluster was simply a repeat of what his father, the late Kim Jong-il, used to do.  Back in the day, the North Korean dictator would make some outrageous threat, the United States would offer fuel or food to secure a promise not to carry out the threat, and North Korea would back down.

After Kim recently made one of the typical North Korean threats, the United States offered to send food in response.  Kim accepted but then made even more outrageous threats and engaged in provocative actions resulting in the U.S. withdrawing the food offer completely.  This behavior baffled U.S. officials who feared that maybe this leader was playing a different and much more dangerous game.

Last night, the United States sent B-2 Spirit bombers over South Korea in a training exercise meant to send a message to Kim that we’re not playing games here.  Given his unpredictability, it will be interesting to see how Kim responds.

Most experts don’t believe he’ll immediately engage the United States, but they do fear that all provocative things he’s done recently could lead to a miscommunication resulting in an unfortunate escalation or even a return to all-out war.

Sadly, this is what can happen when an inexperienced “leader” with the apparent cavalier attitude of a 14-year-old gets hold of a real army with real weapons.

If worse comes to worse, we may only have one choice in dealing with the unpredictable Kim Jong-un.

Call Mickey Mouse.

He may be our only hope.

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