The British Empire Fell Long Ago—So Why Do We Still Go Gaga Over a Royal Baby?

July 15th, 2013

It’s all over the news that Prince William and Duchess Kate will present Great Britain with a future King or Queen any day now.  There are even American correspondents reporting from London today in hopes of getting one of the first scoops on the big event.

I’m sorry, but I think it’s absolutely ridiculous that anyone should be born into this world today amidst all kinds of pomp and circumstance so that they can be some blue blood living in a castle at taxpayer expense.  And what will their contribution be to the world? Someday they’ll join the “family business” of breaking champagne bottles over cruise ships.

Does anyone seriously still believe in Providence such that someone is so much better than anyone else on this Earth simply by virtue of their birth?  Sadly, if the British still want to support a system where the “low life serfs” hand over beautiful flats, country manors, castles, and unlimited  amounts of free bangers and mash (although it’s more likely caviar and Fois gras) then I guess it’s just their poor judgment. But why would we as Americans celebrate this antiquated silliness?

Remember, we kicked the King out.  We made it abundantly clear that we wanted no part of a monarchy through the bloody American Revolution.  So why are so many of us Yanks today watching our Twitter feeds like a hawk waiting for Kate to break her water?

The reason the United States of America is the greatest country in the world is because we believe in hard work, talent, and earning our way to success, not merely being born into it.  We don’t believe in giving any family a free ride based on its gene pool (which in the case of most monarchies is pretty low).  Besides, when monarchs actually meant something historically, it usually wasn’t anything very positive.  Many of the most famous Kings and Queens were hateful, cruel, and nuts.

Now, I’m not bashing Will and Kate’s baby.  It’s always a happy time when a new baby is born.  It’s even kind of refreshing and somewhat more American to know that this future King or Queen will have a former flight attendant as a grandmother on one side of the family (as well as a few miners).  That certainly gives the kid more of a common touch.

Still, the whole notion is so outdated and wrong.  It’s also the antithesis of what America stands for.  Thank goodness we live in a country where we just don’t hand over taxpayers’ money to fund the lifestyles of the rich and famous.  It goes against everything we stand for and isn’t something we should celebrate.  The birth of the baby we can celebrate, of course, but not the continuation of the pro-elitist, snobbish caste system that exists in Great Britain.

Can you ever imagine President Obama donning a crown?  (I said “you” not him—we all know he would love it).  Remember the uproar when a member of the military held an umbrella over Obama’s head?

We kicked some king ass a long time ago to start our U.S. republic.  The last thing we should do is celebrate a long tradition of an asinine aristocracy.  The monarchy is a mindset and lifestyle that should have died with the British Empire.

I’m proud to be an American where we say Hail to the Chief and to hell with King George!





One Comment

  1. Posted Jul 16 2013 at 7:23 am | Permalink

    It is a wonderful old tradition that brings a little beauty and sanity to a world filled with hate and mayhem.

    As an old timer I find this is not the world I grew up in and feel sorry to see so many of the old trusted values falling by the wayside.

    Many of the joys of life I have enjoyed are gone by the wayside as technology now takes over making me wonder what the future might hold for my grandkids.