I know this is going to seem weird, but when I heard that Hostess was going out of business I felt depressed.
Obviously, I wasn’t shocked. News reports of the company’s fate gave me a pretty clear picture of what was about to happen. If members of the striking Baker’s Union didn’t return to work by 5:00pm last Thursday, the Ding-Dong was dead.
When they didn’t go back to work, word quickly spread about the demise of Hostess. News anchors with photos of Twinkies hovering over their heads announced the news.
My heart sank. Not for the Twinkie, mind you. I hate Twinkies. Okay, I’m lying a bit here. I actually like fried Twinkies but then anything fried tastes pretty good even though it’s likely to kill you eventually. Other than the fried version, I never really got Twinkies. If Twinkies were the only sweet snack cake left on this Earth, I would be a very thin person.
Ding-Dongs are a different story. From about fourth grade until my high school graduation, I brought the exact same lunch to school every day—peanut butter and honey sandwich, Cheetos, and my beloved Ding-Dong. There were days, I’ll admit, that the first two lunch items hit the trash. Not so my Ding-Dong. I enjoyed that cream filled chocolate delight every single day. Sometimes I even ate part of the aluminum wrapper because it stuck to the darn thing, and you couldn’t get it off no matter what you did.
Granted, I haven’t eaten a Ding-Dong in years. I quit under some belief that Ding-Dongs could make me fat and unhealthy. For the record, I was much thinner when I ate all those Ding-Dongs.
Given my lack of patronage to the brand, I feel I’m partly to blame for the Ding-Dong’s death. If only I’d been more loyal, bought a few boxes on occasion for old time’s sake, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.
I know I can’t beat myself up over this. The past is the past. Like my baby blanket which bit the dust long ago, I now have only memories of each delectable bite.
Farewell, my friend. I’ll miss you.